We all know the saying, "everybody makes mistakes." But, what you may not know is that colloquialism is rubbish. For the powerful are infallible.
As you work fervently to gain the respect of your management team you must remember that to be powerful you must model yourself after the powerful.
Does your boss ever make a mistake? You may think so, but do you ever hear him admit as much? Of course not.
Does he ever not know the answer to a question? Perhaps, but does he ever acknowledge it?
When you make a mistake you must never consider for a moment that it was your fault. There is always someone lower on the totem pole that you can blame. And if there isn't, blame the member of your team who is the least liked, least white, least male, or least attractive.
If someone asks you a question that you do not know the answer to, deflect it to the member of your team who does know. If you are working on a solo project, deflect with a generic answer about how you are still pulling the metrics together or something to that extent.
In the event that a co-worker or subordinate brings up a mistake you made, berate them for discovering the "obvious" and let them know you purposely made the mistake to see if any of "you half-wits were paying attention."
If a subordinate or co-worker asks you a question that you don't know the answer to, wave them away and tell them you don't have time to be bothered. If it is clear that you do have time, chastise them for wasting your time with such a ridiculous question. Should the question actually be of some merit, reply with, "frankly, if you don't know such things, I question your position on the team." That will throw them off guard and get them out of your hair, giving you time to come up with the answer.
Corporate America can be a viscous place, and for those who gain a reputation for mistakes and stupidity, Corporate America will be a place they will not be long for.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Week in Review: 3/9-3/15
The Week in Review: 3/9-3/15
Big week in the world of politics and escort services. All I have to say about both is that I am thoroughly enjoying watching the Socialist Worker's Party of America continue to piss down their leg. And as far as client #9 is concerned, it just illustrates the divide between those who think they have power and those who actually do. The last time I paid for sex was in Seoul and it only cost a quarter dollar.
Ferraro speaks her mind
Under most circumstances I never agree with anything emitted from the mouth of a democrat, especially one that got so thoroughly trounced back in '84. However, the former VP nominee spoke a hint of the truth when she said that Barack Obama was, "lucky to be who he is."
Of course he is, anyone who isn't Hillary is lucky to be who they are.
One in four teenage girls has a sexually-transmitted disease
I've always thought that teenagers were the disease carrying spawn of the devil, now I know they are. Mixed-gender schools are one of the most morally corrupt concepts man has ever created. That is why I guarantee that my son Preston will be attending military school. I also guarantee he won't contract HPV, the Clap, or the AIDs.
Feds lend $200 billion. Europe and Canada, up to $45 billion
For the first time, the Federal Reserve will lend Treasuries in exchange for debt and mortgage-backed securities. I can't tell you what a relief this news is. Over the last few months, my portfolio has lost more than most people make in five years. Not that this has anything to do with you; I just thought you'd like a hint at how wealthy I am.
Big week in the world of politics and escort services. All I have to say about both is that I am thoroughly enjoying watching the Socialist Worker's Party of America continue to piss down their leg. And as far as client #9 is concerned, it just illustrates the divide between those who think they have power and those who actually do. The last time I paid for sex was in Seoul and it only cost a quarter dollar.
Ferraro speaks her mind
Under most circumstances I never agree with anything emitted from the mouth of a democrat, especially one that got so thoroughly trounced back in '84. However, the former VP nominee spoke a hint of the truth when she said that Barack Obama was, "lucky to be who he is."
Of course he is, anyone who isn't Hillary is lucky to be who they are.
One in four teenage girls has a sexually-transmitted disease
I've always thought that teenagers were the disease carrying spawn of the devil, now I know they are. Mixed-gender schools are one of the most morally corrupt concepts man has ever created. That is why I guarantee that my son Preston will be attending military school. I also guarantee he won't contract HPV, the Clap, or the AIDs.
Feds lend $200 billion. Europe and Canada, up to $45 billion
For the first time, the Federal Reserve will lend Treasuries in exchange for debt and mortgage-backed securities. I can't tell you what a relief this news is. Over the last few months, my portfolio has lost more than most people make in five years. Not that this has anything to do with you; I just thought you'd like a hint at how wealthy I am.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Things I can afford that the middle class cannot.
Tonight millions of poor souls will fall asleep to the daydreams of the things they'll buy and the places they'll go if they win the $230 million Powerball jackpot.
New cars, Prevost motor homes, mansions in Maui, yachts.
Student loans, medical bills, credit card debt, upside down mortgages.
Some will even try to bargain with God, promising to give half to charity and friends and family. Of course they'll start high, but that number will dwindle as they realize all of the other things they need.
Like little children waiting for the tooth fairy, they'll fall asleep with silly little grins spread across their worn out faces.
I cannot begin to describe how great it feels to bask in the knowledge that the only thing separating my dreams from reality is nothing. Whatever I want, I get. Whatever I can imagine, I do. That is without a doubt the best thing about not being middle class.
Imagine living a life where all your dreams lay beyond reach. What a nightmare.
New cars, Prevost motor homes, mansions in Maui, yachts.
Student loans, medical bills, credit card debt, upside down mortgages.
Some will even try to bargain with God, promising to give half to charity and friends and family. Of course they'll start high, but that number will dwindle as they realize all of the other things they need.
Like little children waiting for the tooth fairy, they'll fall asleep with silly little grins spread across their worn out faces.
I cannot begin to describe how great it feels to bask in the knowledge that the only thing separating my dreams from reality is nothing. Whatever I want, I get. Whatever I can imagine, I do. That is without a doubt the best thing about not being middle class.
Imagine living a life where all your dreams lay beyond reach. What a nightmare.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Ross' Rules: It's who you know
"What do I need to do to get a job like yours?" That is perhaps the most common question asked of me. If I feel inclined to answer, my response is to tell them that they'll never have a job like mine unless they know the right people.
For example, my nephew is an idiot. The kid only got in to Yale because our family has a rich history of donating substantial sums of money to their business school. And the only reason he was able to get a job with a major New York investment bank was because I was a good friend with a board member. Now the kid is leveraging his relationships into securing a position with the State Department.
Compare his path with that of his college roommate. The young man got into Yale purely on the strength of his academic prowess and his minority status. He spent so much of his time studying to maintain the high GPA required of his scholarship that he failed to form any meaningful relationships or connections. So what is he doing? Teaching English and history back on the reservation. Sad considering what that young man was capable of. But, because he doesn't know the right people his Yale education will go to waste.
Is it fair? Not at all. However, as we all know equity has little to do with success. It's knowing the right people that will take you places.
For example, my nephew is an idiot. The kid only got in to Yale because our family has a rich history of donating substantial sums of money to their business school. And the only reason he was able to get a job with a major New York investment bank was because I was a good friend with a board member. Now the kid is leveraging his relationships into securing a position with the State Department.
Compare his path with that of his college roommate. The young man got into Yale purely on the strength of his academic prowess and his minority status. He spent so much of his time studying to maintain the high GPA required of his scholarship that he failed to form any meaningful relationships or connections. So what is he doing? Teaching English and history back on the reservation. Sad considering what that young man was capable of. But, because he doesn't know the right people his Yale education will go to waste.
Is it fair? Not at all. However, as we all know equity has little to do with success. It's knowing the right people that will take you places.
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