When I go to the grave, the one thing I know people will say about me (other than I was a man of great wisdom and brilliant business sense) is that I was always the best-dressed man in any room.
For the powerful businessman, the perfect suit brings everything together. Though you may have an Ivy League pedigree and winning personality, you are nothing without the proper presentation. In fact, the proper presentation is perhaps the most fundamentally important weapon in the businessman’s arsenal. It also happens to be this week’s rule.
Those who know men’s fashion respect one name above all others- William Fioravanti. One look at a Fioravanti communicates wealth, power and class. Refined, yet never flashy. Polished, yet never ostentatious, a Fioravanti says to the world, “I am a man of incredible means, impeccable taste and I am better than you.”
Now, I understand that at this point in your career you have not the means to afford an $11,000 suit. Perhaps you can afford one of their less expensive models, but I doubt it. However, I cannot stress enough the importance of looking your best. Whether that means a simple off-the-rack Brooks Brothers or a cheaper Bloomingdale’s knock-off, the businessman looking to make something of himself must model himself in the mold of his superiors. Short-sleeved dress-shirts and wrinkle-free khakis are for high-school science teachers and rural insurance salesmen.
After my grandson returned from Iraq, the first thing I did was fly my tailor to Walter Reed to take his measurements. The boy had lost a considerable amount of weight due to the many surgeries needed to treat his wounds, but the tailor was able to work with his doctors and came up with projected measurements that proved to be very accurate. Though my grandson would not accept my phone calls nor return my letters, my tailor told me he successfully impressed upon the young man the importance of looking his best. “Would you rather they notice your scars or your suit,” he asked.
"Will they notice my scars?" I can think of no finer summary of my rule than that simple question. Remember it everytime you look in the mirror.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
The Week in Review: 3/23-3/29
What I think you need to know about last week.
The Fed tries to stave off a US economic meltdown
In case you were too busy volunteering, in which case you assuredly don't care about anything that actually matters, the Fed brokered a deal that sold troubled investment bank Bear Stearns to JP Morgan Chase for $2 a share. This is big because that bastard James Cayne lost about $950 million in the deal. A year ago, his shares were worth over $1 billion. He just dumped them for $61 million.
Hillary misspeaks
I don't understand why this is news. She does it all the time.
American Airlines grounds 300 planes
The nation's largest airline grounded 300 planes for safety inspections. Every one of the airline's Boeing MD-80s were grounded on the order of a FAA directive that mandated wiring be inspected for proper installation. I can only imagine how inconvenient this was to commercial travellers. Actually, no I can't, because I'm not poor.
The Fed tries to stave off a US economic meltdown
In case you were too busy volunteering, in which case you assuredly don't care about anything that actually matters, the Fed brokered a deal that sold troubled investment bank Bear Stearns to JP Morgan Chase for $2 a share. This is big because that bastard James Cayne lost about $950 million in the deal. A year ago, his shares were worth over $1 billion. He just dumped them for $61 million.
Hillary misspeaks
I don't understand why this is news. She does it all the time.
American Airlines grounds 300 planes
The nation's largest airline grounded 300 planes for safety inspections. Every one of the airline's Boeing MD-80s were grounded on the order of a FAA directive that mandated wiring be inspected for proper installation. I can only imagine how inconvenient this was to commercial travellers. Actually, no I can't, because I'm not poor.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Things I can afford that the middle class cannot: private security services
After yesterday's posting I had to double my security detail. Apparently the Church of Scientology deploys some pretty heavy hitters if you make fun of L. Ron, though I really don't know if my security detail is prepared to deal with Xenu and his alien forces. Idiots.
When you are as powerful and rich as me you can afford to say whatever the Sam Hell you feel like. Not only is it incredibly liberating, it's a wonderful power tool. To live in a world with no repercussions is to live in Utopia. However, despite this fact, I choose to employ the best private security contractors in the world and I frequently attend training courses at Blackwater USA.
Many people are not aware that I am licensed to carry a concealed weapon. I'm wearing it right now. It's only one of the most respected handguns in the world: the Browning M1911. I have one in Gold, Platinum and Black and I carry them in one of my custom designed Italian holsters. Today I've paired the platinum with the West African Black Rhino Skin holster (I posses the only one in existence). Often, to intimidate I let my sport coat or suit jacket fall back so the butt of the pistol is exposed. It is really quite humorous.
Do I know how to use it, you ask. I can put a two round group within an inch at 10 yds. Does that answer your question? I learned how to do that at my Blackwater Advanced Pistol course. I'd recommend you attend, but you probably cannot afford to. When you have the money, you really should go. I also suggest the shotgun and highway driving courses. If nothing more, they're simply a great time.
But I digress. My private security team is what I am most proud of. Composed of former Special Forces Operators, my team is prepared to protect me from any type of attack you can imagine. I even employ a few minority operators that blend in when I travel abroad. That way the bad guys don't know the size of my protective detail. Each Operator costs just over $100,000/year to employ. That's over 600 grand a year on security. Most middle-class homes don't cost that much.
How do I afford it?
I don't. My firm employs them on my behalf. Power means not having to spend your own money. Besides, when you work in an industry that specializes in mortgage backed securities, you find that you have many enemies. Rightly, they feel that it is in every one's best interest to protect the executive management team.
Having your own private security detail is a luxury no person of wealth and power should be without. In fact, I dare call it a luxury. Necessity is probably the right term. The sad fact is that there are many who hate us. I'm sure such feelings are based purely on jealousy. And while I do not appreciate being the target of kidnapping plots and assassination attempts (which I am assured there have been many), I do like the attention such plots draw.
And Mrs. Ross likes having them around as well. Often, she requests one be posted in her room at night. She says it makes her feel safer.
When you are as powerful and rich as me you can afford to say whatever the Sam Hell you feel like. Not only is it incredibly liberating, it's a wonderful power tool. To live in a world with no repercussions is to live in Utopia. However, despite this fact, I choose to employ the best private security contractors in the world and I frequently attend training courses at Blackwater USA.
Many people are not aware that I am licensed to carry a concealed weapon. I'm wearing it right now. It's only one of the most respected handguns in the world: the Browning M1911. I have one in Gold, Platinum and Black and I carry them in one of my custom designed Italian holsters. Today I've paired the platinum with the West African Black Rhino Skin holster (I posses the only one in existence). Often, to intimidate I let my sport coat or suit jacket fall back so the butt of the pistol is exposed. It is really quite humorous.
Do I know how to use it, you ask. I can put a two round group within an inch at 10 yds. Does that answer your question? I learned how to do that at my Blackwater Advanced Pistol course. I'd recommend you attend, but you probably cannot afford to. When you have the money, you really should go. I also suggest the shotgun and highway driving courses. If nothing more, they're simply a great time.
But I digress. My private security team is what I am most proud of. Composed of former Special Forces Operators, my team is prepared to protect me from any type of attack you can imagine. I even employ a few minority operators that blend in when I travel abroad. That way the bad guys don't know the size of my protective detail. Each Operator costs just over $100,000/year to employ. That's over 600 grand a year on security. Most middle-class homes don't cost that much.
How do I afford it?
I don't. My firm employs them on my behalf. Power means not having to spend your own money. Besides, when you work in an industry that specializes in mortgage backed securities, you find that you have many enemies. Rightly, they feel that it is in every one's best interest to protect the executive management team.
Having your own private security detail is a luxury no person of wealth and power should be without. In fact, I dare call it a luxury. Necessity is probably the right term. The sad fact is that there are many who hate us. I'm sure such feelings are based purely on jealousy. And while I do not appreciate being the target of kidnapping plots and assassination attempts (which I am assured there have been many), I do like the attention such plots draw.
And Mrs. Ross likes having them around as well. Often, she requests one be posted in her room at night. She says it makes her feel safer.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Ross' Rules: Go with God
I just got back from celebrating the most wonderful Easter. Really, there is no better place to celebrate His glory and resurrection than on the pristine white sand beaches of the Caribbean. All that I have in my life I owe to Him and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t ask for His forgiveness, nor is there a Sunday that passes when I don’t worship His greatness.
See what I just did there? I created an aura of respect and trust by proclaiming my faith in the Lord. That, my friends, is another one of Ross’ Rules. To be an executive of power one must convey that he is a man of faith, because there is no easier way to earn respect than by embracing Christ.
Think about it, would you question the integrity of your evangelical pastor? Or question the ethics of the Catholic Church? Of course you don’t. To be a Christian is to be beyond reproach. You are indemnified from scandal and scorn.
Who cares if it’s all a front? Like many secrets we keep, no one will ever know.
If you want to make your trip up the Corporate Elevator as easy as possible you must remember to be an active believer and participant in the faith that dominates your geographic area. If you live in the south, you’re a Baptist. West Texas, Catholic. The Northeast, protestant. The Midwest, Lutheran or non-denominational.
I do not care if you actually believe in any of these religions. That, of course, is not the point. What is the point is that your co-workers and bosses think you do.
Just make sure they think you believe in real, Western religions, not fake ones. When in doubt, if it ends with “muslim” or comes from Asia or the mind of a science fiction writer, it’s probably not real.
See what I just did there? I created an aura of respect and trust by proclaiming my faith in the Lord. That, my friends, is another one of Ross’ Rules. To be an executive of power one must convey that he is a man of faith, because there is no easier way to earn respect than by embracing Christ.
Think about it, would you question the integrity of your evangelical pastor? Or question the ethics of the Catholic Church? Of course you don’t. To be a Christian is to be beyond reproach. You are indemnified from scandal and scorn.
Who cares if it’s all a front? Like many secrets we keep, no one will ever know.
If you want to make your trip up the Corporate Elevator as easy as possible you must remember to be an active believer and participant in the faith that dominates your geographic area. If you live in the south, you’re a Baptist. West Texas, Catholic. The Northeast, protestant. The Midwest, Lutheran or non-denominational.
I do not care if you actually believe in any of these religions. That, of course, is not the point. What is the point is that your co-workers and bosses think you do.
Just make sure they think you believe in real, Western religions, not fake ones. When in doubt, if it ends with “muslim” or comes from Asia or the mind of a science fiction writer, it’s probably not real.
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