As you may recall from last week’s Week in Review, the wealthy live, on average, approximately five years longer than everyone else. So, in honor of this fact, allow me to espouse yet another benefit of being fabulously wealthy.
Now, the study may be rooted in medical fact, but I believe we live much longer because we have much more to live for. Yes, being able to afford the best doctors and medical treatment is nice. As is not having to drive to Canada to get my cholesterol medication. I love the fact that Medicare is something I partake in only because I’ve paid so much into the system. Of course I don’t need it, but that won’t stop me from using it.
I love the security of knowing that if I should be stricken with cancer, I’ll actually have treatment options and won’t be relegated to receiving treatment at some sub-par HMO cancer center. How one deals with such a prospect is beyond me. In fact, I don’t see much difference between receiving “normal” treatment and simply letting the disease spread.
Being wealthy means I can receive the most advanced preventative care available. Yearly, I undergo a barrage of tests designed to identify any and all afflictions that may be present in my perfectly maintained body. I have at my disposal a dedicated team of physicians whose only purpose in life is to keep me operating at peak capacity and I have chef, personal trainer, massage therapist and relaxation expert at my beckon call. If my eyesight goes, laser surgery will fix it. If my skin begins to sag, plastic surgery will tighten it up. If my heart fails, I’ll buy a new one.
Of course, my dedication to living is predicated on the fact that, unlike much of the poor and middle-class, I have something to live for. Actually, I have an abundance of things to live for. I know that as I age, my body will not break down and I will be able to sail my boats, drive my cars and love my wife with equal vigor. I know that unlike the poor and middle class, my golden years will not be spent in casinos and bingo halls. I know that the stress of living on a fixed income won’t slowly erode my will to live and that my grandchildren will still love me because I’ll be able to give them more than five dollars for Christmas.
Unlike the poor and middle class, I know that my wealth allows me to endlessly sip at the fountain of youth and I know that when death comes, I won’t welcome it with arms wide open, grateful that it has rescued me from a life of premature decay. Instead, I’ll make it sit in the fine Italian leather seat of my Aston Martin as I slam into a concrete retaining wall.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Ross' Rules: Ride the Winning Horse
By this point, if you have not recognized that G. Glen Ross is a winner, then I question whether you should be reading this in the first place. I appreciate that you may aspire to greatness, but lacking the deductive reasoning skills to surmise, based upon previous journal entries, that yours truly is the Secretariat of the corporate world, I recommend you focus your attention on more attainable goals. Perhaps with a little work and lot of luck, someday you may be a HR manager.
Where was I? Right, I'm a winner. From the moment I kicked Lewis Ralston's butt across the playground, G. Glen's come out on top. I've got a bigger bank account and lower cholesterol count than every other member of my firm's executive team. My second and fourth homes are in neighborhoods so exclusive they don't show up on the tax registers and my executive assistant finished top of his class at Wharton. How many executives do you know that have secretaries with such strong pedigrees? That's right, none.
And while I could continue to list my possessions that top the "world's best," "world's most expensive," "world's most desirable," and "world's most exclusive" lists, I will not. Not because I wish not to bore you or make you envious, rather I simply have not the time or space to list such things.
However, what I will do is impart upon you this bit of wisdom: losers get nowhere. To make it in this world you must be, must work for and must surround yourself with winners. The company you keep, the teams you support and the employers you work for, all must share the common thread of success.
Why? Simple, winners attract success, wealth and beautiful spouses. And as I've stated before, all are essential to a life worth living. Through my career I've been astute enough to attach myself to some of the business world's most intelligent minds and successful companies. More important, I've been prescient enough to jump ship when the tides of success began shifting.
It's called success by association and in the business world it can be your most powerful ally. Success by association has the ability to overcome mediocrity, stupidity and a public university education. Success by association can gloss over race, gender and someday maybe even disability. By riding the coattails of success you will attach your name to the quality required of every executive. And while you'll probably never succeed to my extent, if you remember to surround yourself with winners, someday you'll be one too.
Where was I? Right, I'm a winner. From the moment I kicked Lewis Ralston's butt across the playground, G. Glen's come out on top. I've got a bigger bank account and lower cholesterol count than every other member of my firm's executive team. My second and fourth homes are in neighborhoods so exclusive they don't show up on the tax registers and my executive assistant finished top of his class at Wharton. How many executives do you know that have secretaries with such strong pedigrees? That's right, none.
And while I could continue to list my possessions that top the "world's best," "world's most expensive," "world's most desirable," and "world's most exclusive" lists, I will not. Not because I wish not to bore you or make you envious, rather I simply have not the time or space to list such things.
However, what I will do is impart upon you this bit of wisdom: losers get nowhere. To make it in this world you must be, must work for and must surround yourself with winners. The company you keep, the teams you support and the employers you work for, all must share the common thread of success.
Why? Simple, winners attract success, wealth and beautiful spouses. And as I've stated before, all are essential to a life worth living. Through my career I've been astute enough to attach myself to some of the business world's most intelligent minds and successful companies. More important, I've been prescient enough to jump ship when the tides of success began shifting.
It's called success by association and in the business world it can be your most powerful ally. Success by association has the ability to overcome mediocrity, stupidity and a public university education. Success by association can gloss over race, gender and someday maybe even disability. By riding the coattails of success you will attach your name to the quality required of every executive. And while you'll probably never succeed to my extent, if you remember to surround yourself with winners, someday you'll be one too.
Friday, April 4, 2008
The Week in Review: 3/30-4/4
Ahh yes, another glorious week has come and gone and another weekend of decadent relaxation approaches. Mrs. Ross, myself and a few friends I are off to Telluride for the last ski outing of the season. From what I hear, the conditions are phenomenal. Truly, there is no greater time to enjoy the slopes of Southwest Colorado than in the Spring.
Now, on to the week in review...
Students Write Good
While I normally don't read the New York Times, there was a copy in the executive restroom and well, I needed something to read. Communist rhetoric or not, I couldn't help but shake my head at the fact that, according to a test administered last year, only one in four high school seniors are proficient writers.
Understandably, many are blaming the educational system. However, I believe such blame is misplaced. My generation might be the greatest, but the one mistake we made was not realizing the rhythm method was ineffective. Had we known, our country's youth would not have been raised by some of the most ineffective and immature parents this great country has ever seen. So, on behalf of grandparents everywhere, I'm sorry. Mistakes obviously happen.
The Rich Live Longer
Now, on to the week in review...
Students Write Good
While I normally don't read the New York Times, there was a copy in the executive restroom and well, I needed something to read. Communist rhetoric or not, I couldn't help but shake my head at the fact that, according to a test administered last year, only one in four high school seniors are proficient writers.
Understandably, many are blaming the educational system. However, I believe such blame is misplaced. My generation might be the greatest, but the one mistake we made was not realizing the rhythm method was ineffective. Had we known, our country's youth would not have been raised by some of the most ineffective and immature parents this great country has ever seen. So, on behalf of grandparents everywhere, I'm sorry. Mistakes obviously happen.
The Rich Live Longer
Of course it'd be stating the obvious that we rich lead far better lives than the middle classed and poor. Finally though, studies have confirmed what we've always suspected, we uncommonly rich live longer than the commonly not. 4.5 years to be exact.
I'd have thought the figure would have been higher though. How one can tolerate living surrounded by want and mediocrity is beyond me. But I'll save my thoughts on euthanasia for another day.
Ted Turner Proves Again That Wealth Can Only Do So Much
Personally, I've always thought Ted Turner was a twit. When he married Hanoi Jane, I knew he was. Admittedly, I am neither a fan of his politics or his baseball team. However, the fact that he is a fellow member of the plutocracy does not immunize him against my scorn.
According to Tedly, if we don't take action, in 30 to 40 years the Earth will be eight degrees hotter. Plants won't grown and everyone will either die or have to resort to cannibalism. First I'll say this: Ted, you're an idiot. Your argument has no merit because it is grounded in shoddy science and false assumptions. Second, I'm sure most people would welcome such climate change. Third, I'll be dead by then so it doesn't really matter.
Enjoy your weekend everybody. I'm sure Chili's will be a great time.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Things that I can afford that the middle class cannot: a complete and total disregard for the opinions of others
When you finish reading this post, I'd appreciate it if you would take the time to comment on what you thought of it. Oh wait, you can't. Why not, you ask? Answer: because frankly, I have no use for your opinion. And no, I don't care that such disregard on my part might hurt some feelings or wound a few egos.
After publishing last week's post-Easter Rule, I received a few pathetic comments that were so absurd that any and all vitriol was replaced by humor. Now, I’m well aware that the ability to form logical thoughts and coherent arguments are skills not deemed necessary in hippie communes, California and much of the Northeast, but even had these simpletons somehow managed to present a point that flirted with validity I would not have cared. The rich and powerful do not have to care.
I recall the early days of my career when I was only an associate. My co-workers and I would be working on projects and they would always be mindful of other’s input, frequently uttering such things as, “I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes” or “What are your thoughts on this?” It was pathetic, but I would play along so others would think of me as “part of the team.” Though, having never known anything but wealth never had the need for anyone’s opinion but my own.
The middle-class might argue that such egocentric narcissism has no place in today’s society. Of course, the proletariat would believe such nonsense. They cling to the hope that consideration will solve the world’s problems, but fail to comprehend that consideration clogs the wheels of progress and impedes the decision making process.
Sometimes, to humor myself, I solicit members of my staff for their opinions. Their eyes light up and their thoughts spill from their mouths like Mrs. Ross’ cleavage in a Versace cocktail dress. I nod politely and smile, all the while thinking of something more meaningful. When I no longer hear their voices I move on to the next topic, never acknowledging what the person said. From the highest high to the lowest low, their faces drop with the realization that their thoughts have been discounted - a beautiful sight indeed.
Being a man of wealth and power is to be a man without care. Consideration is a debt shouldered exclusively by the middle-class. How they live with such a burden I cannot comprehend. Fortunately, I’m not obligated to care.
After publishing last week's post-Easter Rule, I received a few pathetic comments that were so absurd that any and all vitriol was replaced by humor. Now, I’m well aware that the ability to form logical thoughts and coherent arguments are skills not deemed necessary in hippie communes, California and much of the Northeast, but even had these simpletons somehow managed to present a point that flirted with validity I would not have cared. The rich and powerful do not have to care.
I recall the early days of my career when I was only an associate. My co-workers and I would be working on projects and they would always be mindful of other’s input, frequently uttering such things as, “I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes” or “What are your thoughts on this?” It was pathetic, but I would play along so others would think of me as “part of the team.” Though, having never known anything but wealth never had the need for anyone’s opinion but my own.
The middle-class might argue that such egocentric narcissism has no place in today’s society. Of course, the proletariat would believe such nonsense. They cling to the hope that consideration will solve the world’s problems, but fail to comprehend that consideration clogs the wheels of progress and impedes the decision making process.
Sometimes, to humor myself, I solicit members of my staff for their opinions. Their eyes light up and their thoughts spill from their mouths like Mrs. Ross’ cleavage in a Versace cocktail dress. I nod politely and smile, all the while thinking of something more meaningful. When I no longer hear their voices I move on to the next topic, never acknowledging what the person said. From the highest high to the lowest low, their faces drop with the realization that their thoughts have been discounted - a beautiful sight indeed.
Being a man of wealth and power is to be a man without care. Consideration is a debt shouldered exclusively by the middle-class. How they live with such a burden I cannot comprehend. Fortunately, I’m not obligated to care.
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