Things I can afford that the middle class cannot

As Mrs. Ross likes to joke, "my wallet makes my butt look big." That's why I seldom carry it. Sure, I like the feel of the supple calf skin (get them before they can stand to ensure the leather doesn't get stretched), but I very well can't have people thinking I don't stay in shape. Nor do I care for unsightly creases in my custom tailored slacks.

So what do I do?

I could eliminate the wallet and simply carry large sums of cash or my American Express card.

But I don't.

Make no mistake, I could do both. But therein lies the problem- a man of true wealth and power shouldn't have to concern himself with everyday business transactions. There is nothing more annoying that having to wait as some out-of-work actor struggles through the basic math needed to make change on a $8.00 cup of coffee paid for with a hundred dollar bill. Nor do I car for the incessant "oohing" and "ahhing" that erupts the moment I pull out my Amex card. Granted it's not everyday one sees a Black American Express card, but come on, at least act like it.

No my friends, the truly wealthy cannot be bothered with such trivialities. That's why we have expense accounts, for there is no better way to streamline a transaction that by putting it on one's expense account- no limit, of course. So while the rest of the world saves receipts and fondles dollar bills that were surely once damp wadded up balls in a beggar's pocket, we rich simply flick our Mont Blancs and with the flash of a signature the transaction is complete. No receipts, no bacteria, no dealing with people any longer than necessary.

Just a simple pen and the bank account to back it up.