Things I can afford that the middle class cannot: The ROM

One of the great passions in my life is looking good. For executives, what is on the outside often matters more than what is on the inside. Though my physician tells me I possess some pretty fit innards.

As you may know I am a very busy man. Do you think I have the time to spend an hour at the gym? Of course I don’t. That’s why I purchased the ROM.


At over $14,000 this wonderful machine costs more than most pre-owned Ford Taurus’s. So, while I can get my workout in only four minutes and get on with more important things, the middle class is forced to huff and puff for hours at a time on their Sears’s treadmills and Chuck Norris wonder machines.

Or do they?

Let’s be honest people. Most middle class people possess neither the discipline nor pride to stick to a workout program. They buy their Sally Struthers’ Thigh Masters and Bowflexes and ingest magic fat pills in hopes that the pounds will melt away. But the reality is that after a week they forget their silly resolutions. They realize that looking good for a spouse who doesn’t care is a waste of energy. They wake up to the reality that being able to walk up a flight of stairs without passing out is not an issue when the building they work in has an elevator. No, these undisciplined excuses for people stuff these colossal wastes of money (surely bought on credit) under the bed or in the closet with the rest of their hopes and dreams. Their treadmill becomes a place to hang their short-sleeved work shirts and wrinkle-free khakis.

But what about those who do have the discipline to diligently work out? I’m not impressed. In fact, that they spend so much time working out illustrates their misplaced priorities. No wonder they’re mired in middle management.

To be an executive means sacrificing your health for position. At least it did before the ROM. $14,000 is a small price to pay for health and power. Just look at what it did for me.