Things I can afford that the middle class cannot: private security services

After yesterday's posting I had to double my security detail. Apparently the Church of Scientology deploys some pretty heavy hitters if you make fun of L. Ron, though I really don't know if my security detail is prepared to deal with Xenu and his alien forces. Idiots.

When you are as powerful and rich as me you can afford to say whatever the Sam Hell you feel like. Not only is it incredibly liberating, it's a wonderful power tool. To live in a world with no repercussions is to live in Utopia. However, despite this fact, I choose to employ the best private security contractors in the world and I frequently attend training courses at Blackwater USA.

Many people are not aware that I am licensed to carry a concealed weapon. I'm wearing it right now. It's only one of the most respected handguns in the world: the Browning M1911. I have one in Gold, Platinum and Black and I carry them in one of my custom designed Italian holsters. Today I've paired the platinum with the West African Black Rhino Skin holster (I posses the only one in existence). Often, to intimidate I let my sport coat or suit jacket fall back so the butt of the pistol is exposed. It is really quite humorous.

Do I know how to use it, you ask. I can put a two round group within an inch at 10 yds. Does that answer your question? I learned how to do that at my Blackwater Advanced Pistol course. I'd recommend you attend, but you probably cannot afford to. When you have the money, you really should go. I also suggest the shotgun and highway driving courses. If nothing more, they're simply a great time.

But I digress. My private security team is what I am most proud of. Composed of former Special Forces Operators, my team is prepared to protect me from any type of attack you can imagine. I even employ a few minority operators that blend in when I travel abroad. That way the bad guys don't know the size of my protective detail. Each Operator costs just over $100,000/year to employ. That's over 600 grand a year on security. Most middle-class homes don't cost that much.

How do I afford it?

I don't. My firm employs them on my behalf. Power means not having to spend your own money. Besides, when you work in an industry that specializes in mortgage backed securities, you find that you have many enemies. Rightly, they feel that it is in every one's best interest to protect the executive management team.

Having your own private security detail is a luxury no person of wealth and power should be without. In fact, I dare call it a luxury. Necessity is probably the right term. The sad fact is that there are many who hate us. I'm sure such feelings are based purely on jealousy. And while I do not appreciate being the target of kidnapping plots and assassination attempts (which I am assured there have been many), I do like the attention such plots draw.

And Mrs. Ross likes having them around as well. Often, she requests one be posted in her room at night. She says it makes her feel safer.