Ross' Rules: Let money be your scorekeeper

Question: Why do you do what you do?

a) Because your job makes you feel good about yourself.

b) You enjoy the responsibility your career affords.

c) You make an obscene amount of money.

If you answered "a" or "b" you're wrong. Warm fuzzies are for 10 year-old girls and guidance counselors. You want responsibility? Join the military.

If you answered "c," congratulations, you're a big boy who doesn't have his head up his ass.

Sure, there are those who argue that one's career should be guided by principle and passion, but we know such comments are nothing more than pathetic justifications spewed from the mouths of those desperately trying to validate their five-figure incomes. We know that wealth is the magic elixir that makes life bearable. We know that nothing tempers a sixteen hour workday like a fine steak from Morton's or sinking into the supple leather of a hand-stitched calfskin loafer. We know that failing relationships can be dealt with at Christmas and Birthday's and that stress and anger can be squashed between the floorboards and accelerators of our supercars and cigarette boats.

The middle class can have their idealism and balance and nine-to-five cross-stitch circle, save the pandas careers. They can have their familial relationships and their father-son ballgames and healthy lifestyles. But you know what? They'll still lose. Because wealth, my friends, is how winners are measured.